Valentines Day Gift-Self Esteem Lasts Longer Than Flowers

In the early 17th century lovers and friends exchanged their tokens of affection through hand -made and hand written notes, sometimes in the form of poems and such. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America and ever since this tradition has become a marketers dream. As corny as it is, as much silly pressure as it puts on relationships (not only the romantic ones, my mother was offended if I missed sending her a card), giving those you love a card that says, “To Someone Very Special”, is a practice that makes both the giver and the receiver feel good.

But the habit of handwriting a very special message that describes how your loved ones have created value and contribution for your life, has died out. Instead, we to try to find a card that “says it all” , and tacking it on to flowers or a box of chocolates.

Feeling good about oneself by learning about one’s strengths has been shown to improve performance in both work and life. A research project out of the Center for Positive Organizational Scholarship at the Stephen M. Ross School of Business University of Michigan , had participants engage in a Reflected Best-Self Exercise. Participants sent out requests for feedback from family members and friends asking them to describe ways that they had added add value and had made important contributions to their lives. In another study related to career development and work performance, participants sent out requests for feedback from co-workers to describe ways they had contributed to the organization. As a result of receiving their contribution stories, many of them came to view themselves much more positively and were able to make changes in their career and personal lives in positive new ways.

I just gave a Valentine card to a friend that said: “You make my life wonderful” and then I included some specifics about how she did that, in her case by being an incredible support and guide for me in my business and personal development.

This Valentine's Day, in addition to just giving a card, flowers, or candy to the person you care about, hand write a note describing a special way or special time when that person has done something valuable for you. Imagine what a great gift of happiness you can give them that far exceeds the gift of chocolates or flowers.

For more information on how this exercise can be used for personal and career development, Valentine's Day or any other day, checkout: http://www.bus.mich.edu/POS-Teaching-and-Learning/ReflectedBestSelf%20Exercise.htm